1 Question Will Spark Self-Growth

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1 Question Will Spark Self-Growth

“An ancient metaphysical law says that we can never leave any situation that causes us discomfort until we learn to love it or at least to see love at work in it.” ~Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy, by Sarah Ban Breathnach

We all encounter difficult people & difficult situations throughout our lives. And there are times when it’s simply impossible for us to remove ourselves from these situations, or the people in them. They can feel unbearable, but they are opportunities for self-growth.

People are put in our lives for a reason & there’s a lesson to be learned from every situation.

When encountered with ‘discomfort’ it becomes especially important to ask ourselves:

“What am I supposed to learn from this person &/or situation?”


“What can this person &/or situation teach me?”

At the very least, an unsavory person teaches us who NOT to be. They teach us what we don’t want to do or say. They teach us the way in which not to conduct ourselves. Perhaps this person is placed in front of us to teach us compassion, empathy, or patience. And until we learn the intended lesson, said person or situation is not going to be removed from us.

Maybe we don’t love the situation itself, but the goal is to learn to appreciate it for what it truly is  an opportunity for growth. If we’re able to approach undesirable situations & people with this mindset, the discomfort will become more tolerable.

But what about past experiences that cause discomfort in our lives today?

We ask the same question! Sort of

“What did this person/or situation teach me?”

People’s actions, good or bad, can help to shape who we become. Our collective experiences shape the type of parent, wife, husband, & overall person we are. Sometimes even negative experiences have positive effects, in that they can drive us to break dysfunctional cycles. {If you’re hanging on to an old grudge you may like this post.}

But sometimes, even dwelling on the good for too long can get us into trouble. Say an old boyfriend keeps popping into your mind. . .  If you’re in a relationship that could pose a problem, right?

Ask yourself, “What did that person &/or situation teach me?”

There’s a reason{s} this person isn’t in your life anymore. By honestly answering this question you’ll be able to clearly see why that is & gain closure. But you’ll also be able to take with you the good from the experience. Because let’s be honest, our memory becomes cloudy when we begin thinking in those terms. All we seem to remember is the good, but there was obviously bad too. If we’re honest in answering this question we’ll see both sides of the coin. Lessons learned, closure gained, & ready to proceed in life.

Krista-Lee-Pfeiffer :: Blogger & Creator of The Sunny Shadow


  1. Oh goodness, the ex boyfriend who did no harm…I know him too well. Great post Ķrista. I hadn’t ever thought that dwelling on the good could cause a bump in self growth but I get it. Makes perfect sense…And usually it’s the good that gets me into trouble. Gulp.

    1. I don’t know Sandra, I guess when you think about it dwelling in general is probably not good?? What do you think? I’ve never really thought about it too extensively. But that’s why I love comments! Hope you’re well. Thanks again for visiting, hope to visit you soon =-) -Krista

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