Grudges: Let Them Go!

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“Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head.” ~Unkown


We all know that one person who’d be lost without a grudge to hold. You know the one?… You’re never quite sure if you’re on their good side or their bad one. And rather than confront their “offenders” to resolve their grievances, they dangle them over their heads… Hinting of them at every possible opportunity. The thing is, often these offenses are so trivial that only the grudge-holder remembers that they ever occurred.

If you don’t recognize this person, maybe this person is you?

Many times when we hold grudges, the people we’re holding them against are totally clueless! They’re happy & going about their normal lives; not even thinking about us. But still, we’re wasting our precious time & energy on anger towards someone who doesn’t even know it exists. Now does this make sense?

– FORGIVE –

We know that we’re supposed to forgive. And if you’re the religious type, well, forgiving is “kind of” a big deal. I think the dilemma here is a common one. Forgiveness sounds good in theory. But when it comes to practicing it in our own lives, it becomes difficult. You may enjoy this article >> 10 Steps to Forgiving Yourself.

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison & expecting the other person to die.” ~Buddha


Ask yourself if you want to go through life angry, then answer honestly.


Holding grudges is bad for your health!

According to a WebMD article, not forgiving can cause health problems ranging from mild depression to acute cardiovascular problems.

Understandably, there are horrible offenses that are just too big for us to nonchalantly let go of. Those take time & often the assistance of a skilled therapist. It’s worth it. But please note, those type of wrongdoings are not the general focus of this post.

When we do forgive, we don’t necessarily have to tell the person who we’ve forgiven. We will know & we will feel the relief. Once we’ve forgiven we will be free.

LET GO!

WRITE A LETTER BUT DON’T SEND IT

This is a tool I learned in therapy & it has been helpful to me over the years. Just get it all out! The fact that you’re NOT sending it allows you to really vent all your frustrations. But do not send it. If you’re considering doing so, I highly recommend waiting a week, or longer, to think it over. Getting guidance from your therapist is most ideal. That way you can make sure you’re in a good mind-frame & that you won’t regret it.

BE DIRECT

*Remember, this post is geared toward everyday disagreements. Do NOT confront someone who is potentially dangerous, EVER.

Personally, when someone upsets me I prefer to go directly to them. I think this is the most effective approach, if possible. Many times it’s something simple, like miscommunication or a misunderstanding that can be resolved quickly. There’s no need to make things more complicated than they need to be. This tends to be the quickest way to resolve issues while also doing the least amount of damage to relationships.

SEE A THERAPIST

Some issues are just too complex to resolve on our own. Sometimes we need professional help & that’s totally okay. I personally think everyone can benefit from therapy {& probably need it}. Everybody has their own “stuff.” By going to therapy you’re practicing good self-care — way to go!

How do YOU let go?

Krista-Lee-Pfeiffer


4 Comments

    1. Everyone has their own ways. I just prefer going directly to the person, rather than to someone else… that way it can’t be misconstrued as I was talking behind someone’s back. That’s not always an option though & that option’s not for everybody.

      Thanks for sharing how you let go of grudges! So nice connecting with you!
      -krista

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